so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
