I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
