Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
