It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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