Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
