I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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