??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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