we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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