I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
