My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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