I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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