it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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