Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
