Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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