respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
