there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
