btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
