sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
