chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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