jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
