You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
