I think i sorta joined a cult last night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
