Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is that strawberry winking at me??
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
