No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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