just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let's get the cat blown out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
