Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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