I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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