had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
