so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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