I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
