Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
