My room smells like vodka and shame
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
