Can i not drive my cunt home
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
