Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it because I queefed?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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