I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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