So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
