I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
