Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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