margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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