The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize