I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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