so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
