why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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