no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
