we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
