i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize