I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Shame - the story of my life.
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