there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Say something about gay babies.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
