Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Sober January is a disaster.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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