If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
