Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
