I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
