Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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