It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
