a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
