walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's always time for handjobs
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
