the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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