we're blogging at a bar
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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