I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
