You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
