and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize