Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
