doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
