I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
