id be glad to
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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