i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize