Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
