dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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