hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
