no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
