I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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