We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
