i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
