i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
