the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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