This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
