i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
