I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
