omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she smelled like a LAN party
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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