Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Im part way to drunk.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
