all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
be right there i have to get my cape
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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