what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
