she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
