i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Randomize
