Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
