sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
